The Fear

So Lilly Allen has this Song called 'the fear' which is pretty much the zeitgeist of the moment. It is a deeply spiritual song questioning the way things are. It critiques western culture, and highlights the inadequacies and meaninglessness of our world. In several ways it feels like a re-interpretation of Ecclesiastes...

Each verse critiques the way our society functions.
Verse one picks up on our sense of shamelessness and how we will de-value ourselves in the pursuit of fame and money.

Verse two talks about the emptiness of our consumer lifestyles and the dangerous implications of them, saying that 'we are weapons of massive consumption'.

The third verse challenges our individualism and our lack of care concerning anything beyond ourselves.

The centre of the song describes a sense of not knowing what is right, of not knowing what is real or even how to feel. The song questions whether there is any morality in our world. It asks 'What is right', and comes to the conclusion that perhaps we can't know. Is this an outburst against the confusion caused by the multiple truth claims or our society and the idea of personal truth? Is it highlighting the longing we have for truth? Is it a cry of dissatisfaction with the idea of relative truth?

As such, the song expresses a sense of lostness or trappedness. It hungers after a longing for clarity in life, a sense of liberation from the prison of fear of being different, of breaking out of societies expectations. Perhaps we are all taken over by the fear, afraid to live radically different lives. Perhaps we do not even know what radical looks like in our time. Does this song also critique our hedonistic culture? Is it expressing a sense that we have become numb to experience? Is it saying that feelings are not enough, that they are shallow and disappear quickly?

Is this a cry of a generation who have been robbed of hope, life and meaning?

Ecclesiastes critiqued the same ideas. However, rather than centering around lostness it centres around hope in God. Is the chorus of this cultural critique the idea that we find ourselves as we stand in awe of God? Is this a liberating fear? Have we put our fear or our awe in the wrong place, around things that trap us? The conclusion to Ecclesiastes states 'fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of humanity'. Perhaps we should be taken over by the fear... But it is a different fear... it is a deep awe of God... a relational fear of knowing the Almighty... of drawing near to listen to him (Ecclesiastes 5:1).

Flash Mobs - Flash Church

There has been loads of media coverage in recent weeks of so called 'flash mobs', groups of people arranging to meet at a certain location and do something out of the ordinary before fading back into the normality of everyday life.

Ipod discos, parties on the undergorund and even U2 got in on the act with an open air gig in the middle of London. MY personal favourite was the 'time freeze' in Trafalgar Square. These events organised through facebooks groups are pretty crazy affairs.

The other day I was thinking that it'd be a pretty fun social experiment to set up a 'flash church' or a 'church mob'. Where loads of Christians arrange secretly to meet to hold church in a shop, or in a pub or even in the middle of another church service. They could all turn up at one of these locations and a worship leader could whip out a guitar and everyone could sing a Tim Hughes classic before turning back and doing whatever they were doing before. The look on people's faces would be amazing. See you in Starbucks, Saturday 2.43pm

Through Many Dangers

You know those times when you wake up and everything seems too much. Life seems heavy; this weight of responsibility sits on your shoulders and all appears ragged. That was me this morning. These are days when your duvet is your best friend. Mine was ripped from me at 6am.

As I left the house for work I grabbed my ipod and quickly ran my thumb round the wheel to select some random song. As I stopped turning I glanced down and saw that I'd highlighted a song called 'Through Many Danger's'. It was a song we sang a few years ago at soul survivor. When I say song, I really mean it is one verse of Amazing Grace repeated a few times.

These are the words...

through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
It is grace that brought me safe thus far
and grace will lead me home

Sometimes God speaks straight into the fog of our lives. Sometimes He gently reminds us who he is and what we are about. This morning was one of those times. When it seems easiest to give everything up, when life is tough, God speaks.

In these simple four lines God reminded me of his call on my life. He reminded me of where I have come from and where I am going. He reminded me that He is in charge, that He is in control. He reminded me that it is not about me or what I do but about Him and His grace. He reminded me that He is faithful. He reminded me that life is a journey not a product. He reminded me that He is there. His grace is leading me. His grace is dependable. His grace. Not my effort, but His Grace.

We're trusting our lives to you.

Worry

I stumbled across this song the other day and just found it speaking to me. Not only is it one of those songs that makes you want to hear it again and gets stuck in your head but it is pretty cool. I've found it pretty inspiring over the last couple of weeks. It complements Jesus' ideas in Mat 6:25.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?"

Life hurts

I reckon Life sometimes feels a bit like this. There is this chaos and disruption around us. Life hurts and we feel battered and bruised. It leaves us numb, expressionless. Blow after blow keeps coming at us and we just have to stand and take it. Life hurts. Following Jesus is tough. Ministry is difficult. Leadership means pushing forward, challenging the way things are and reaching for the new. It involves change. People are not passive to change. They either grasp it with two hands or resist it with feet placed firmly in concrete blocks. It inevitably causes conflict as some join the path and others decide that it is not the route for them.

Leadership within this context is not about task, or process but about love. When the world leaves us numb the challenge is to regain feeling. Numbness occurs after pain becomes too much. Our receptors shut down. Regaining feeling does not mean dwelling on the pain but re-imagining the world, reminding ourselves of the need to love. Leadership is a relational task. It is based on trust. When we are battered and bruised. When it all feels too much then we love even more. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always peseveres

We are to come after Jesus. To pick up our cross each day. To follow. We are never promised that it will be easy. It willl inevitably involve struglle and hardship, but also joy and the beauty of a community growing together.

Side-Tracked

I so often have these high ideals. These thoughts of how I want to live and of how I want to be. Yet the reality most of the time is that I get side-tracked... I get distracted from what I want to do. I find this so frustrating. It's like I know what I want to do and how I want to live but I get no-where near it. I settle for less than the life I want to live.

The apostle Paul seems to have had the same frustration. In Romans he writes...

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am!

Yet a few verses later he is able to write...
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

As Christians we hold these two contrasts at the same time. We are new people, set free, living by the Spirit, following his lead into a new age. yet we are still struggling with this old sinful life that keeps rearing its head.

This is the reality of following God. It is not easy. But each day we take up the challenge to live the adventure. Each day we clothe ourselves in God's promises and God's truth and seek to live for Him; seek to reveal His love. Little by little we get there. God transforms us more and more as we seek Him. Yes, we get side-tracked, but we don't stay in the siddings for long. God is faithful. As we repent we find hope and grace. As we seek His love afresh we find ourselves back on track, redeemed and restored. With new passion and new hunger for our life with God.

Listening Generation

Every now and then God speaks to us in really profound and exciting ways. He calls us to do new things or realign ourselves with his ways. Last week I was spending some time with God and reflecting on Acts 5; the disciples obedience, courage and boldness as they set about filling Jerusalem full of teaching about Jesus. I was struck by how much of a difference it made to the city. I was thinking about how great that would be to see in Woking - a town filled with Jesus. And I was thinking' 'how can we do this, how do we set about filling a town with Jesus'? And as I reflected on it I was drawn back to the disciples initial instructions from Jesus in Acts where Jesus tells them to wait in order to proclaim what they had heard him speak about.

It then dawned on me that if we are to achieve anything for Jesus we have to wait on Him, we have to listen to Him, we have to know what he is telling us to do. Jesus only ever did what he saw the Father doing - is that the way we live? I don't know. But as I was reflecting on these things I felt God saying 'I want to raise up a new generation, a generation who will fill towns with my teaching, who will be brave and courageous in their faith. They will be a generation of people like Samuel the prophet. They will speak my truth and lead many to me because they first and foremost listen to me.'.

So as I read Samuel's story I felt God saying so much to me about how we should live out our faith. We need to be a generation of people who listen to God. Who seek Him, who know Him and who have an intimacy with God that leads them to action. It says that Samuel served in the temple - our call is to serve God, not in the temple because we are the temple as God has placed His Spirit in each of us, but we are to serve in the world, in our actions in the encounters we have with people. We are to listen to God to hear what he has to say, then speak and act prophetically and with love. This generation will be one that has their hearts set on listening, they will not settle for rumours of God's words only for the very words of God. They will learn and grow from the Bible as they pray and seek God. Their prayer life will not be full of requests instead it will be a prayer life (life, being the operative word) that waits on God for his instruction. God will use this generation to make the ears of people tingle. He will do a new thing with this generation as they listen and obey him. This generation will be a model for years to come as they reveal how to live in the world as Christians, demonstrating what it means to follow Jesus in an authentic and relevant way. They will not fear people - only God - and God will not let their words and actions be wasted. They will be a generation set on saying "speak God your servant is listening".

I reckon this message applies to us. It says in verse 7 'now Samuel did not yet know the Lord' but he had been serving in God's temple for a while. Maybe that is the same for us. We know about God but don't know God. We have been around the church a while but not developed that listening, intimate relationship with God. Perhaps that is something we need to respond to, something we need to change.

Maybe too our ears are blocked. We can't hear properly because we are too busy, or too hurried or simply just don't listen and assume that we know what God wants us to do. Here the response is to find time to be in God's presence. Set that as our priority. God wants to use this generation to do a new thing, to make people's ears tingle. But we need to listen first.

Also we have to learn what God's voice sounds like. It took Samuel four attempts to get it right. Maybe we mistake God's voice or even ignore it. Maybe we have to let God make our decisions for us.

I don't know if any of these apply to you. But I feel that God is saying to us that he would like us to be this generation. I feel that God wants us to listen to him before we act, to listen to him while we act, and to listen to Him after we've acted. Wait on the Lord, be brave and courageous, then wait on the Lord -Psalm 27:14. We can be this generation. If this word is from God then we need to listen and respond to it, if it is from men then it will fail. I encourage you to test it. To start waiting on God, to start a life of listening to Jesus...

Hide and Seek

Life sometimes feels like we are playing hide and seek with God. We search and pray and set our heart on finding him yet he remains hidden and elusive, we know he is out there but where.

Jeremiah had the same experience. He heard God say "Am I only a God nearby,"
declares the LORD,
"and not a God far away?' - Jer 23:23

In fact Jesus seem to suggest that life is a process of seeking God. Jesus describes it as us seeking and finding treasure in a field, as a hunt for a precious pearl, or a search for a lost coin. But then the game reverses. Luke 15 describes God searching for the lost sheep and the Father longing and looking out for the lost son.

So is God looking for us or are we looking for Him?
Is he close by searching for our hiding place or is it God who is elusive and hiding far away?

In Eden as Adam and Eve turned against God they also hid. Humanity has been hiding from him ever since. Rather than seeking to live life in God's presence we sin and hide. We turn our back on God and withdraw.

One of the Things I love about Peter is that when he turns his back on Jesus by betraying him he does not hide. As soon as he finds out there is a chance that Jesus is alive he runs to the tomb. Peter goes looking for Jesus. Initially he finds an empty tomb and some burial clothes, later he comes face to face with Jesus. John's gospel concludes with Peter and Jesus re-finding each other. It is an encounter marked by forgiveness, love and calling. The same challenge is there for us. When we mess up our task is to find Jesus and encounter his forgiveness, love and calling.

Live the Dream

Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That's what I came here to say.
But if I was wrong,
Then I'm sorry,
I don't let it stand in our way.
As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things thatShouldn't have done.
But, life is for living,
We all know,
And I don't wanna live it alone.
Sing, Ah, ah, oh, Sing, Ah, ah, oh, And just think, Ah, ah, oh. (Life is for Living... Coldplay)

There is a truth in this song that we all know... That life is for living... But so many of us settle for a lame existence. We settle for a shadow of what life can really mean and be about.

Yet at the same time we all by into the lie that our culture has brainwashed us into beliveing that we can live our dreams, that we can be whatever we want to be, that we can all be superstars of the stage, sport or screen. This is a lie simply because we can't all do the things we want. We have to compromise at times doing what's best rather than following our dreams. We all have to play our part in the mundane reality of everyday life in order that we all might live. We need the supermarket assistants who sell us food for our bodies as well as the musicians who sell us the food for our souls.

Yet there is a discrepency here. We want to live the dream yet we give up on living, settling for things that aren't our dreams. Maybe we have lost the enthusiasm for living. Maybe the hunger for life. Maybe its because our dreams are so often hollow and selfish. Jesus said that he came to bring life and life to the full. But so many of us struggle to live anywhere close to the reality of this.

Faith is an adventure. Faith is about living in God's plans and will for your life. When we do this we get closer to living the dream. Not our dream but God's dream. This dream encapsulates our dreams building on them, revealing a side to them that we never expected. When we live out God's dream we find a purpose and meaning that others lack and long for. Probably the thing that should define Christians more than anything is their willingness to trust in God. To become part of the adventure of journeying with God. Not knowing where the path will lead, but enjoying the route that we are being led on.

This adventure leads us from selfishness to selflessness, from our dreams to God's dreams, from the small picture to the big vision. In a paradoxical way we find fulfilment when we stop thinking of ourselves and start serving others, when we stop taking and start giving, when we live in the significance of God's vision rather than opur own. As I think about the high points in my life they have all involved me taking a step to give something of myself for the benefit of others, my marraige, my work, Kenya 2003, the list goes on. In a funny way though I am blessed through these things as I serve, as I give. I find that I am fulfilled as I show others a glimpse of God's love and grace. 'Freely you have received freely give'. If we want to know what life to the full is all about then we need to start living the adventure of faith, start seeking to serve the people we encounter start giving rather than taking. We need to seek grace, be grace, and give grace...

Whatever...

My Job gives me the incredible privaledge of accomapnying young people on their journeys through life with God. I see them grow and struggle as they work out how to apply Jesus to their lives and gaze on in wonder as they are visibly transformed by God's Spirit.


And so often I here that this is the 'whatever generation'. The apathetic, disinterested, not bothered, unconcerned generation. A generation of passive individuals who watch as the world passes them by without caring one way or another what is going on around them.


And I try and balance this view with what I see God doing in and through the young people I know and work with. This group who God is using and transforming. These young people are anything but passive. The young people I see daily are activists, radicals, revolutionaries, and reformers. A passion has stirred within them that doesn't let them settle for the way things are just because that's the way things have always been. They wont accept rumours of spirituality they want to experience the reality of it for themselves. They want to know God as intimately as the people in the Bible and they are willing to pay the cost and step out in faith to follow where Jesus leads them. They are not perfect and are often a hurting, broken, lonely, self promoting generation. They are a generation who are surrounded by a corrupt and sinful world - maybe as never before - but it is out of this darkness that God is bringing His light. I see Him raising up young people who go against the norms of their 'whatever' culture. Sometimes they slip back into it, but the passion within them pulls them out of their slumber and cries Wake Up O Sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine upon you.


This generation are the Change Agents and Grace Givers. A new generation that God is raising up to make a difference in this world as they bring justice, hope, grace and Jesus to people without these things. I have watched astounded at their boldness as they have followed God in faith stepping out into Woking park, Wetherspoons pub, Woking high school, The Big Apple, Kenya, Thailand, Fiji, India, Manchester, Liverpool and shortly South Africa to bring Grace. They don't always know what they are doing but have a sense that God will use them if they go. And what's more they aren't satisfied with what they've done so far because they have this instinct that tells them that they can know Jesus better if they continue following after him and stepping out in faith.


My prayer is that this generation keeps seeking God and only Him. That God continues to use them and transform the world through them. My prayer is that they realise that God is using them and blessing them as they don't conform to the world around them but are transformed by God instead. I pray that God will keep moulding them as clay and that they will be a generation who know God as Father like none before, who call on His name and strive to lay hold of Him...


Isaiah 64:7-9 (New International Version)


No one calls on your name
or strives to lay hold of you;
for you have hidden your face from us
and made us waste away because of our sins.


Yet, O LORD , you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Do not be angry beyond measure, O LORD ;
do not remember our sins forever.
Oh, look upon us, we pray,
for we are all your people.

Fatherhood

Within the space of a month last summer my whole world changed. In August I became a father for the first time, something that gave me so much joy and pride. I was overwhelmed with love for this little life that I could hold in my arms and that spent most of its time crying, sleeping or feeding. Since then people keep coming up to me and asking, ‘so what’s it like to be a dad?’ - as if I, (a 27 year old youth worker who is more of a kid than the ones he works with), could ever be legally allowed the responsibility of caring for and shaping a life. Generally being a father is pretty good fun. Every time I wake my son up from a nap his face produces a bright toothless smile. Sometimes he will fling out his arms wanting to be held. At the moment he blows raspberries when you try and feed him and he laughs hysterically with the cutest little giggle whenever he sees anyone kicking a football…

However about 4 weeks after my son was born my world was turned upside down again when my father died of cancer. He was my greatest example, a caring, funny, loving man who would do anything for anyone.

Fatherhood therefore has become a bit of a common theme in my life recently as I have laughed with the joy and grappled through the pain and sorrow. In all of this my faith has kept me grounded and kept me going. I guess much of this is down to the thought of having a God who describes Himself as ‘Father’.

I find this aspect of God’s character so comforting and so meaningful, despite the fact that it reminds me of the loss of my own dad. I think God chooses to describe himself as a Father because it is an image we’re used to and so can relate with. Whatever our experience of Fatherhood we have an ideal of what it should be. Therefore it’s a way for God to relate to us. God is not an aloof, impersonal deity who sits on some cloud overlooking all he has made with an air of dispassionate and disinterested calm. God is the opposite. God is a relational God. He longs to know us, longs for us to know Him, and discover more of who He is. Our God wants to journey with us through the adventure of life being right there with us through the good and bad. God calls himself father because it helps us to connect with Him.

One of the frustrating things about being a dad of a little baby is that it is really difficult to communicate with my son as he can’t speak yet. He has a few different cries to tell me what he wants, but when I speak to him he can’t really understand me. I can make him laugh and I can meet his basic needs but generally our communication is really limited. It’s kind of a one way relationship, where I give and he receives. He can’t give me much attention because he can’t concentrate for very long. I’m pretty certain he doesn’t understand that I want the best for him, and that I do everything for him out of the love I have for him. In some ways he is unaware of me – it could be anyone caring for him. Except that I know that he trusts me. Sometimes when he is crying or overwhelmed by life he will look at me to comfort him. I have discovered that the best way to do this is to simply pick him up and hold him in my arms. I reckon this is pretty similar to our relationship with God. So often we are unaware of God, what He does for us and the love he has for us. We struggle to communicate with him or give Him our attention because He is beyond our understanding. The glimpses we have of God often seem so far apart and we struggle to link His provision for us with Him giving to us. We are just too little to understand. However every so often we have these moments when we look to God for reassurance or comfort, where we show that we trust Him and that we need Him, and at these times we find that we are actually in His arms, caught up in His embrace. We find that as we seek God, the Father is right there holding us.

This picture of a father embracing his child is for me one of the most powerful images in the Bible. It comes out in the story Jesus tells of the prodigal son. The son is returning home, hoping to find acceptance in his father’s house as a servant after rejecting his Father in a pretty big way by asking for his inheritance early. As the son returns home he’s planning what to say to his father, how to say sorry, how to ask for forgiveness, how to plead to be a servant. However the son has no time to state his case because the Father has run to meet him so that he can wrap the son up in his embrace. The Father has forgiven, accepted and shown the extent of his love to his lost son in that one action. That embrace says everything. That embrace is fatherhood. That is the embrace God desires for each of us and I guess it’s that place where we each desire to be, where we feel safe, secure, certain, accepted and loved.

Making our way there is simply about seeking Him just as we are. We just need to have the intent of re-establishing the relationship to find ourselves in God’s arms. It’s probably something we have to do quite frequently, but God longs for those moments where we set our hearts on Him. God longs for those times where He has us in his embrace, where he can comfort us, reassure us, quiet us with His love. And if my fatherhood is anything like God’s He’s probably pulling faces at us too, trying to make us smile.

check out this article @ http://www.soulsurvivor.com/uk/imag/index.asp

On The Starting Blogs...

So this is my blog. This is where it all begins.

The day after the first Re:route/root away weekend, where so much happened and where out of nothing so much seems to have changed.

We set out to define ourselves a bit more. Look at who we are and investigate our identity under the CCYM Graceworks name and to simply seek God. So much more happened as we spent time delving into various aspects of God's grace - how much we need it, how we go about seeking, being and giving it to others - that the weekend blew my expectations. People met with God. People became excited about serving. Things some how feel different after that weekend, it feels as if God has taken us to a significant point in the CCYM journey. It seems we now have two options. We can turn back, not step out, not follow the new road that is stretching out before us, and stay on the ground we know. But if we do this we will miss out on the excitement and blessing that travelling towards God's heart brings. The other option is step out onto this new path and to see where it goes and simply see what happens.

It feels similar to what happened last year after Spring Harvest when those in our cell groups started seeking more of God and more of the adventure that comes with stepping out in faith. Looking back over the last year it seems incredible where we are now. Our daily plod has led us closer to God. There is a real difference in what we do, a greater degree of depth, we are a people seeking God now, before we were a group of people who went to the same church. Now we are a people journeying towards God's heart. We don't know where that will lead us, but have faith in the God who has called us through His Son and blesses us with His Spirit